a moment's content

                   -j.d.

it all comes back eventually

revolving

circular, as happiness runs

around and

around and

on its way

to me,

belly full of ease

bees gone

            all things settled…within

content in

your silence.

youre quietness

im content

just satisfied enough

to hear you cower

you Coward, limp as you do

and I wont look after you

my eyes wont follow you

past the gate.

to know you’ve gone

is enough

           19.10.2015

bent

i desired you so

deeply

i could feel my insides

tremble, bumping into themselves

and fueling the rhythm

that kept us on beat

ive seen you dance since me

watching your feet

stumble in  your too-big shoes

the heat between us

melted the mattress so

on the springs, that now poke and dig

 i cannot sleep without thinking of you inching over in the dark.

                                                           

i call to God

to bless and forgive, then

to you to comfort me in case he wont.

waiting for a call back,

i sit hunched -

my spine forever arched to be your little spoon.

24 June ‘14

Resistance

Resistance

I was 12

With round framed glasses

Attempting to become my own version of Vanessa Huxtable

All straight A’s and one-liners.

I was sprawled out on the rug

My face in a book -

Goosebumps or Babysitters Club or something with a choose-your-own ending.

In the suburbs,

I’d never heard a gunshot

Never kept the oven door open for warmth.

And a bang on the door startled me

Even though we had a doorbell

(because why would they ring the bell if they could pound on the door)

They were

Looking for my brother

I remember smiling

Because not too long ago

It had been “people in your neighborhood day”

And I knew all about the good men in blue

Who would help me get home if I lost my mom at a street fair

Or could make sure men in vans didn’t follow me home from school

But they didn’t smile back

At 12 year old me

Or say please or thank you

When I said he wasn’t home

Even though I could hear WuTang blasting from his stereo

My first act of resistance

And as they made their way down the front steps

I swear I heard one oink

And saw the other’s pink spiraled tail twitch underneath his slacks.