paramour*

whats left of us

comes in an email

- no subject line

and a file with barely any buffer time.

*a lover, especially the illicit partner of a married person

In Short

             n.c.

You are most of what I know

Of how connected beings be together

Even though

We

Could not.

                                    '15

a moment's content

                   -j.d.

it all comes back eventually

revolving

circular, as happiness runs

around and

around and

on its way

to me,

belly full of ease

bees gone

            all things settled…within

content in

your silence.

youre quietness

im content

just satisfied enough

to hear you cower

you Coward, limp as you do

and I wont look after you

my eyes wont follow you

past the gate.

to know you’ve gone

is enough

           19.10.2015

Stone

Apology escapes you.

You are made of stone

at all the right places.

Gargoyle-

Unwavering, at the edge

and not a pigeon would think

to soil your head.

My love, your

vows, unbuttressed

covenents, sacred

under conditions we cannot control.

But you are stone

As was I

until I crumbled.

            14.06.2015

#5ThingsYouShouldNeverBreak 

a. a promise - unless you can endure the guilt.

Caves

Your voice

won’t echo here,

but hover

at my ragged points;

stalactite –

drip dripping steady ‘til

there are mounds

of you

at both my highs

            and lows.

                        11.06.2015

Breathing Underwater

toe to toe

amends hovering / between us

my chest

bound,

Then burst

rhythm lost

                        Fireflies!

Dancing

            Rave-like            across

My             eyes.

                                                            I’m grasping for breath.

                                                                        I have none.

Once,

Before you,

Before

            Fake love

And            real lust

I could hold my breath forever

Hold out

‘til every ring

from the bottom of the pool

bangled around my little arms

a mermaid bride

decorated.

Before

            Real fear

And            fake commitment.

I would dive in.

Stay down.

Calm.

Safely in danger

But

Toe to toe

Apologies inanimate

And barely fertilized

I am

begging for air

Where there is none

and

But a heart’s beat from the surface.
                                                                        4.19.15

reBound

I do not welcome
your tiptoe into curious territories.

This is about release
and recovery

solely a thing
of reparation;

making amends for giving
up

immunity
from sly and charming impurities,

prerogative
to be preserved and set apart.

                                    12.16.14

Quench

 Baby pours a double

His fingers are slim, and

Slick from a clumsy spill.

He’s a heavy hand.

My top lip tingles before I’m half in.

He casts a smile

Over the wooden divide

I am whet; procured.

Sentenced.                       

09.08.14

(n+1)

In your empty space

I consider            how I fit;

which way I must maneuver my arms

in order to squeeze in

because I can feel it won’t be right

when there’s two of us.

June '14