exposed

laid out. dissected

like scalpels and clanging

trays on countertops.

glistening bits on display

and eyes, peering

all the way over,

charging anxious fingers

to stay in their pockets

where they belong.

        14.12. 15

For you, prepared

Before me,

laid out, prepared,

I’ve words, sifted and reworked

To present me

like you know me

like you like me

Not yet this heart, unsure,

but steady

Inevitably you will get that, too

For you

I’ve words deliberate

though still true

to recite, 

mellifluous,

all lashy coquette.

                                    18.08.2015

self-portrait

not quite lost but

seeking a bit of nothingness

to welcome her restless romp.

enough to taste relief,

and she would offer palms;

turn out her pockets.

for a moment

of stillness,

sacrifice comes cheap.

6.2.15

moonlit reds

i sleep with wine-stained lips

to be light on my toes

and a wrangler of [w]reckless emotion.

                                                29.04.15

Breathing Underwater

toe to toe

amends hovering / between us

my chest

bound,

Then burst

rhythm lost

                        Fireflies!

Dancing

            Rave-like            across

My             eyes.

                                                            I’m grasping for breath.

                                                                        I have none.

Once,

Before you,

Before

            Fake love

And            real lust

I could hold my breath forever

Hold out

‘til every ring

from the bottom of the pool

bangled around my little arms

a mermaid bride

decorated.

Before

            Real fear

And            fake commitment.

I would dive in.

Stay down.

Calm.

Safely in danger

But

Toe to toe

Apologies inanimate

And barely fertilized

I am

begging for air

Where there is none

and

But a heart’s beat from the surface.
                                                                        4.19.15

bent

i desired you so

deeply

i could feel my insides

tremble, bumping into themselves

and fueling the rhythm

that kept us on beat

ive seen you dance since me

watching your feet

stumble in  your too-big shoes

the heat between us

melted the mattress so

on the springs, that now poke and dig

 i cannot sleep without thinking of you inching over in the dark.

                                                           

i call to God

to bless and forgive, then

to you to comfort me in case he wont.

waiting for a call back,

i sit hunched -

my spine forever arched to be your little spoon.

24 June ‘14

Love and Slugs

Heavy dreams hang

with swollen bellies

All over my furrowed brow

The humble moon is no match

They empty their guts

just as I’ve quit butterfly kissing the pillowcase

dumping on me

all the things I fear.

        2014

In Dreams

This is my interpretation of a Bop poem. The style was created by Afaa Michael Weaver during a Cave Canem summer retreat. This Bop’s refrain comes from James Blake’s song “Our Love Comes Back” The accompanying music is composed by Jean-Michel Bernard from my favorite movie of all time, The Science of Sleep. Hope you enjoy.

The Legend of Black Ice

Ice is all there was for miles
In every direction
Far enough, though, through squinted eyes,

one could see a tower there
A small city out that way
tufts of smoke hanging over

Buildings and things

Maybe sending signals
Or just doing what they do

Day by day, unaware of her.

Men would come - on journeys
Unworthy - unknowingly unworthy - stay a day

then go, leaving their heavy behind

with her

Black ice, they began to call her
for the elusiveness

the uncertainty and the way

her eyes could chill,
Evaporate salty sweat beads
And pull a frosty puff of
sour breath from their shivering lips

cut their feet out from beneath them, so quickly

And all they could do to keep

from hitting the ground was reach out eager arms,

sink a cool head into her bosom.

  

                              14 Jan '14

Nice Guys

I see you, clear as the Negril waters, where, once, I took a nap and awoke floating far beyond the safety buoys. I panic. Then and now.

I see your face, dark like the soil in my father’s herb garden – seasoned, rich with a promise to sustain. I am walking away, but waiting to see if you’ll grab my wrist and shake some sense into my gin-soggy, hipster-chasing one-track mind.

I sit too quickly when you pull out my chair. I blame you with my eyes, cutting. From the floor, I contemplate taking your hand that is outstretched and reaching for me.

When you lay your wool, fitted sportsjacket over mud puddles, I pretend not to see it and, avoiding it, step, then, fall – deep - into a hole that I cannot seem to pull myself out of. Ever.

                                   Dec '13
  

Lighter Always in Dream

         And the question was posed,

then silence. To open my mouth seemed hollow

and when I did, my tongue refused to stir.

My eyes, instead, did the work.

And no one knew quite how to respond.

Though, I could hear them thinking        

         she’s from the future

I swirled in the deduction

Without making a sound

Towards the door

Through a portal

And into the open air - a field where the cool

blades graze my ankles

Long into dreams

About

Simplicity

and order

and I am

quick

Stripped down,

Unencumbered.

                                             2013

Evenings with You

You put me to bed

And your voice

Like smoke

Warm

Fills my nose

Wrapping itself

Up into me

Until I am gasping for breath

Calling your name

Both to stop you

and to urge you

For with you

I am constant

In a state of

Caprice

and weak with thirst.

January 2013